Living In Nerima
by illjwamh
Summary: Changed the title again. Last time, I swear. Splits off from the manga and chronicles the lives of Ranma and his...friends as they gasp GROW UP in Nerima.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any of its characters. The characters that I made up for this fic are my own, as is the plot.

Author's Notes: Okay, let's kick this baby off. Never done a Ranma fic before, but what the hell, eh? Now several of the ideas in this fic do occur elsewhere in Ranma fanfiction. I know because I've seen them, and was annoyed that I wasn't the first to think of them. I will admit to one minor idea that I did get from another fic. But I can safely say this is probably the only fic where you can find them all in one place. Hehe.

Since this was written for fun and not for continuity, it splits off from the main manga storyline about…halfway through? Somewhere around there, anyway. And Akari isn't in it, since I'm not familiar enough with her character to portray her accurately. Pretend she doesn't exist.

Also, this first storyline is a spoof of a famous movie. Try to guess which one. ^_^

That's about it. I hope you enjoy this story, since from what I've planned out I sure expect to enjoy writing it.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, YOU JERK!

     Tendo Kasumi was humming a tune to herself as she tidied the kitchen. Tendo Soun and Saotome Genma were playing a game of _go_. None of them were really conscious of the time. The were abruptly reminded when the youngest Tendo daughter burst through the front door yelling, presumably at her boisterous fiancé.

     "Just forget about it and leave me alone, you jerk!" 

     Ranma's voice followed soon after, confirming suspicions.

     "I don't even know what you're yellin' about!" he declared. "What'm I supposed to forget?"

     Akane made an angry growling noise. "If you don't know, then there's no point in telling you. It's not like you'll care, anyway."

     By this time they had made their way into the house, and Kasumi had come out of the kitchen to see what the matter was. They were at each other's throats again, so despite how much she wished for them to get along, she knew better than to interfere.

     "Look, you stupid tomboy," Ranma was yelling, "Did it ever occur to you that whatever it is, I _might_ not have done it on purpose? Just tell me what the big deal is! Why was Kunou actin' weirder than usual? And what was everyone else actin' all different for? You even got out of standing in hall when we were late this morning! What's going on?"

     Kasumi brought her hand to her mouth and made a small noise of sympathy, unheard by the two that were arguing. Now she knew what was wrong.

     Akane looked deeply hurt, and her eyes began to shimmer with tears in the few moments it took her to respond.

     "It's my _birthday,_ you jerk!" 

     With that, she turned on her heel and sped up the stairs, slamming the door to her room behind her. Ranma was left standing motionless in the entryway with a dumb look on his face.

     "Oh."

*          *            *

     Ranma paced in his room, fretting over what he should do. Akane was really upset. And for good reason, he supposed. After all, he had forgotten her birthday. But then, could it really be called forgetting if he had never known in the first place? No one had ever told him when it was. He hadn't ever really thought about it. Of course he couldn't say _that_, as it was the reason she was upset in the first place.

     His father had come upstairs to scold him for making his fiancé cry, followed shortly after by Akane's father, berating him for hurting his little girl's feelings. Kasumi had come by after trying to cheer Akane up and attempted to do the dame for him. It didn't work. The only one in the household he hadn't heard from yet was Nabiki, but he was expecting a ribbing later on. Most likely at dinner when he couldn't escape from her.

     He heard a resounding thump, and realized it must have been Akane hitting something in her room – most likely the floor or the wall. Akane wasn't prone to destroying her own property in fits of temper. Just other people's.

     He just wished she would let him _talk_ to her. He'd followed her up to her room after the initial shock of her revelation wore off, but she'd screamed at him to go away. Not exactly a novel occurrence, but it didn't make him feel any better. The more he thought about it now, the more aggravated he got. His pacing picked up. Honestly, how was he supposed to know it was her birthday? He hadn't even remembered…

     That was it! If he played it right, he had a way to make Akane forgive him. Now all he had to worry about was getting her to listen long enough for him to get it out.

*          *            *

     Akane cried into her pillow, disgusted with herself for doing so. She'd told herself she wouldn't cry over something so stupid, but that jerk had to keep pushing and pushing. Every time it was like he was driving it home just how little he thought of her. 

     She found it incredibly hard to believe that after all the events of the day he hadn't figured it out. Besides, he and his father had been living in Nerima for nearly a year now and she hadn't had a birthday yet. Did he expect her to be sixteen forever?

     It's not as if she wanted him to buy her a gift or anything, or even something as ridiculous as sing that silly American birthday song. Just a little recognition would have been nice. But he'd made it abundantly clear that it and by extension she didn't matter to him in the least.

     Just then there was a knock at the door. She jerked her head up quickly, and was about to yell at Ranma to go away when she remembered that Kasumi had come up before as well, and she didn't want to yell at her sister. So instead she called, "Who is it?"

     "Akane, it's me." Ranma. "I wanna talk to you." 

     "Well I _don't_ want to talk to you!" she yelled, perhaps louder than really necessary. As she sprang up from her bed, her eyes drifted guiltily to the fist-shaped dent in the wall. Perhaps her temper was too strong for her own good. "Just go away!" she hollered, although not as violently as before.

     "Akane, I'm sorry I forgot about your birthday. Nobody ever told me when it was, anyway. Not even you."

     She blinked. Was that true? She didn't _remember_ ever telling Ranma when her birthday was, but that didn't necessarily mean she never had. Besides, the jerk still should have figured it out.

     "If it makes you feel any better," he plowed on, "I forgot my birthday, too."

     That stopped her thoughts completely. His birthday? She hadn't even considered that. And wasn't that what she was accusing him of? And he forgot? His own birthday? How could anyone forget his own birthday? Anger forgotten, she walked to the door and slowly opened it, finding him on the other side looking like he really was sorry. For once.

     "Ranma…"

     "So you're finally gonna talk to me, then?" His tone was a bit calloused, but she didn't seem to notice.

     "You forgot your own birthday?" She still couldn't really believe it. She felt bad for him, even though mere moments ago she had been furious with him.

     "Well, yeah," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I mean, we never made a big deal out of it on the road and all. I know when it is, but I always seem to notice about a week after or something. It's no big deal."

     "So when was it?" she asked.

     Ranma was confused. Wasn't she angry with him? The conversation had gone in an entirely different direction than he'd anticipated. Sure, he'd wanted to make her feel better by letting her know that her birthday was no less important to him than his own, but now she seemed to be focusing on it.

     "Um…" he thought for a moment. "About two weeks ago. Remember that day when Mousse thought Kodachi was Shampoo, and she thought he was me because he'd disguised himself?" Akane nodded, giggling slightly at the memory. That had been a very strange day. "Well that was my seventeenth birthday," Ranma continued. "I didn't even realize it until I fought Kunou the other day and he made some comment about my age."

     "Ranma, I didn't…I didn't realize." Not for the first time – although it was still definitely a rare occurrence – Akane felt bad for getting angry at her fiancé.

     "Hey, like I said," he waved it off, "it's no big deal."

     "To you, maybe. But I think it's horrible that you've never gotten to enjoy your birthday. And I'm sorry for getting so angry with you."

     Now something was definitely amiss. She was sorry for getting angry with him? He desperately wanted to exploit this somehow, but – to his great fortune, to be sure – he was unable to think of a way to do that. Instead he just stared dumbfounded at the girl in front of him, wondering what was going to happen next.

     "I'll tell you what," Akane said with a trace of a smirk…or was it a smile? He couldn't tell. "I'll forgive you if you let us celebrate your birthday with mine tonight."

     He certainly wasn't expecting that. Why was she being so nice all of a sudden?

     "It's just a simple little western-style celebration. My mother always liked to do them that way. Kasumi baked a cake and everything. You'll be there, right?"

     It took him a few seconds to regain his cognitive functions and formulate a reply.

     "Sure, Akane," he said, trying his best to show her a genuine smile. "I'll be there."

     "Promise?" She was just teasing him now.

     "Promise." He didn't really mind.

*          *            *

     Ranma cursed his horrible luck. Of all the days to go out for a walk. He just wanted to step outside for a bit and maybe get some air. He'd even considered maybe buying Akane a gift. Nothing big, of course, it wasn't as if it was a big deal or anything. He just didn't want her to be upset with him again over something so small, and she was being awfully nice by offering to share her birthday with him.

     He never got the opportunity, though. Not ten minutes after he left the house, Ryouga leapt out of nowhere like he always did and attacked him. Apparently word had gotten around that Ranma had forgotten Akane's birthday, and the lost boy was not happy with the fact. Ranma had no idea how Ryouga had come across this bit of information, as he hadn't seen his rival in either form for over a week.

     Explaining himself proved futile, so after a quick skirmish Ranma managed to lose Ryouga on the labyrinthine streets of Nerima. Next came Shampoo.

     The young Amazon girl had landed on him with her bicycle again while he'd been making his way back to his own neighborhood. The only reason he'd escaped from her at all was that Mousse happened upon them and attacked him. Shampoo had quickly grown bored and continued on with her delivery.

     After dispatching Mousse quickly, Ranma managed to catch the time from a clock in a store window. A lot of time had been wasted. As it was, he'd barely make it back in time for the start of the festivities; forget about buying a present. That's when Kodachi ambushed him.

     So there he was, paralyzed and being dragged off to who-knew-where with Kodachi cackling away, and he could only imagine the horrible things that awaited him when he finally returned home.

*          *            *

     Where was he? Dinner should have started ten minutes ago, but he wasn't home yet. She wouldn't let them start until he got there. After all, he'd said he would come. He very rarely missed meals anyway, and this time was special. He _had_ to come.

     "Akane-chan?" Kasumi approached her younger sister. "Are you sure he's coming?"

     Akane nodded. "He said he would. Besides, this is for his birthday too, remember? He'd forgotten all about it. It's sad."

     "Yes, I understand," Kasumi offered her a reassuring smile. "But father and Saotome-ojiisan are getting anxious. I think they're very hungry."

     Akane managed a weak smile in return. "Okay, Oneechan. Can we wait just ten more minutes? If he's not back by then, let's eat."

     He was not back by then. In fact, dinner was over and Ranma still had not returned. Akane's disappointment had evolved into concern and then finally anger. What was that jerk doing? Did he forget? Was it really that unimportant to him? They'd just talked about it a few hours ago!

     _Well, it serves him right, _she thought bitterly as she finished off the last of her meal – Kasumi had made sukiyaki as it was a favorite of both Ranma and Akane – _I guess he'll just miss out on all of Kasumi's great cooking._

     "Shall I serve the cake now, then?" Kasumi asked. Everyone sans Akane seemed excited.

     "Sure, why not?" Nabiki offered. "What's to wait for, ne?"

     "Agreed," Genma said. "I can't imagine what that ungrateful son of mine is doing. Serve the cake, Kasumi-chan, and fine by me if he misses out."

     "Oh, my poor daughter is upset on her birthday!" Soun wailed.

     "It's okay, daddy," Akane tried to comfort him. "I really couldn't care less if that jerk was here or not." She added an indignant snort for emphasis.

     "Coulda fooled me," Nabiki said nonchalantly. 

     "Oh, be quiet!" Akane snapped. It was at that moment that Kasumi brought in the cake.

     It was a lovely cake, in the shape of P-chan. It had seventeen candles on it, in keeping with western tradition.

     "Now, make a wish, Akane," Kasumi prompted.

     "Maybe you'll get lucky and it'll come true," Nabiki remarked wryly. "You could always wish for Kunou-chan to leave you alone."

     "Hmph," was Akane's only reply. She glanced up at the clock one last time. 7:59. _Ranma, where are you?_ She turned her focus toward the cake. _You _promised. For some strange reason, she felt almost like crying. She kept it hidden, though. She gazed at the candles for a few moments.

     "Akane-chan?" Kasumi prompted. Then it hit her; she knew exactly what she wanted to wish for.

     _I wish that for just one day,_ she took a deep breath, _Ranma couldn't tell a lie._ She let it out, and all the candles extinguished at once.

*          *            *

     Ranma had no idea how Ukyou had managed to tear him away from Kodachi, but he was certainly glad she did. At least he was, until she started taking him back to her restaurant.

     He tried explaining that he really needed to get back home, but she was insistent that he needed some help getting over whatever drug Kodachi had given him. Being in no shape whatsoever to fight her on the matter, Ranma had no choice but to allow himself to be carried back to the Ucchan until the paralysis wore off.

     "This just isn't my day," he grumbled to himself as they arrived at the restaurant and Ukyou carried him inside.

     "What was that, Ran-chan?" she asked sweetly as she set him on a stool and went around behind the counter and began cooking.

     "Oh, nothing, Ucchan." He didn't really want to make her mad. He had enough problems for the moment as it was. And he needed to get his strength back as quickly as possible so that he could get back to the dojo under his own power. Some okonomiyaki might help with that. Maybe he would make it before everything was over and Akane wouldn't kill him.

     Maybe.

     A few more moments of pondering went by before a 'splat!' noise alerted him to the freshly cooked okonomiyaki in placed in front of him.

     "Eat up, Ran-chan," Ukyou beamed. "That'll have you feeling better in no time."

     Ranma mustered up his slowly returning strength and wolfed down the okonomiyaki. Not Ukyou's best work, but delicious nonetheless. A glance at the clock as he swallowed told him it was 8:01. His gulp was extra loud. Akane was really gonna be mad.

     "How was it?" Ukyou asked as she always did.

     "I've had better," he replied. He didn't even realize what he'd said until he heard Ukyou's gasp.

     "Crap!" He stammered. Ukyou was seething. "Ucchan, I meant that it wasn't your best work! I mean…it was good, but you've made better before! I mean…" Ukyou was shaking with rage by this point. "Ucchan…?"

     "RanMA!!" She pulled out her battle spatula and swung at him, but he managed to jump back just in time.

     "I'll uh…be going now…" he said nervously as he edged toward the door. A second later he burst into an all-out run. Enough of his strength had returned by this point to allow such an action.

     "Oh no you don't," he heard Ukyou yelling from behind him. "Get back here!" He could hear her jump over her counter and set off in pursuit, but he'd made enough distance already to lose her easily by hopping a few rooftops. Once he'd put a significant gap between himself and the irate okonomiyaki chef, he stopped to reflect on what had just occurred.

     _Man, what did I say?_ he chided himself. _"I've had better?" Where did _that_ come from?_ He shook his head to clear his thoughts and decided he'd work it out in the morning. At the moment he still had to get home. With any luck at all, the party was still going on.

*          *            *

     Luck was not on his side. By the time he got home, the party was not only over but had been cleaned up. Worse yet, there wasn't even any cake left.

     His father and Tendou-ojiisan were playing shoji, Kasumi was dusting, and Nabiki was watching television. She glanced up at him as he passed. Akane was nowhere in site.

     "Upstairs," came a voice from his left. He turned and saw Nabiki sitting there, still focused on the TV.

     "Huh?" he asked.

     "Akane's upstairs," she said casually without turning to him. "So what happened? You just forget, or something?" She didn't sound like she cared one way or the other, which wasn't surprising, but Ranma somehow suspected that she did.

     "Does it look like I forgot to you?" he asked irritably, indicating his disheveled clothing from his numerous battles throughout the afternoon. Nabiki spared him a glance.

     "Okay, so you might have an excuse. Good luck getting her to listen to you, though." She turned back to the television without offering him any hired help, and without even charging for telling him Akane was upstairs. Weird.

*          *            *

     Akane sat on her bed, cuddling P-chan. _Stupid jerk_ she growled in her mind. That made twice in one day that he'd forgotten her birthday. And to think she'd forgiven him before. Hmph.

     Knock knock. "Akane?"

     "Go away, Ranma!" Hadn't they already had this discussion today? She cuddled P-chan tighter to her chest.

     "Akane, I'm sorry, okay? Can you let me in, please?"

     "Why on earth would I want to do that, you jerk? You said you'd be here, and then you go out and don't get back until after sunset! I even held dinner for you!" There was a pause. Perhaps Ranma was processing what she'd just told him.

     "Akane, I really am sorry, okay? I want you to open the door so I can prove to you that I didn't miss your birthday on purpose."

     It sounded stupid – and probably was – but he'd piqued her curiosity. Slowly, still clutching P-chan, she made her way to the door and opened it. What she saw was not what she'd been expecting.

     "Ranma…" she gasped. "What happened to you?" She reached out with her right hand to touch his face, which was smudged with dirt and red from being hit. He'd have bruises in the morning. His clothes were torn in many places, and his hair was in disarray. Ranma rarely came out of a fight looking this bad.

     "Well, I got into a fight with Ryouga," Ranma explained. "Then Shampoo came after me. And then Mousse. I finally got rid of them, and then Kodachi showed up. She drugged me again, and was dragging me across town until Ucchan rescued me somehow. She took me back to her restaurant and forced me to stay until the drug wore off, and then she got mad because I said some stuff about her cooking. I was looking all over the place for Kunou on my way home. He's the only one who _didn't_ attack me today."

     "No, he did, remember? This morning."

     "Oh, yeah." Ranma chuckled a bit, but still looked uncomfortable. Akane, on her part, was doing her best to take it all in. That was a bad day even by Ranma's standards. She deliberated for a moment before making a decision.

     "Okay, Ranma; I forgive you." 

     "Really?" His face lit up. She couldn't help but smirk a little.

     "Yeah, really. _This_ time.?" She giggled when he gulped a little.

     "Thanks, Akane. And happy birthday, I guess."

     She had to smile at that. But there was one thing still bothering her.

     "Ranma?"  
     "Mmm?"

     "Why did you go out in the first place? I mean, dinner was only in a couple of hours, and you didn't really have anywhere to be. If you wanted exercise, you could've just gone to the dojo."

     "I was gonna get you a present," he said.

*          *            *

     He blinked. Why had he said that? He'd never actually decided that he was going to get her a present; he'd only thought about it.

     "Yeah right," Akane replied sardonically, turning around to walk back towards her bed. The entire conversation had taken place in her doorway up to this point. He followed her in protest, closing the door behind him out of instinct.

     "No, really!" He insisted. "I was!" _No I wasn't!_ he yelled at himself. Why was he saying this?

     "Uh-huh," Akane said, sitting down on the bed. "Of course you were." She grinned at him sarcastically. All he could do was look indignant.

     After a few seconds, Akane muttered something to herself.

     "So much for birthday wishes."

     "Huh?" Ranma had heard her. "What about birthday wishes?"  
     "What?" She asked, looking at him. "Oh, that. My birthday wish was for you to not be able to lie for a whole day."

     "What!?" He hadn't seen that one coming. "Why would you wish for something like that?"

     "Because I was upset about you lying about coming to dinner," she said. She almost sounded sad when she said it; Ranma couldn't tell.

     "But I didn't!" He refuted. "We've gone through this already!"

     "I know that now!" she snapped. "But I didn't know it _then_." A flash of hurt passed over her face ever-so-quickly, but Ranma caught it nonetheless.

     "Akane, I'm really sorry I missed your birthday," he said earnestly. He crouched down by her bed so as to look her directly in the eye as she sat. "I'll make it up to you somehow, okay?"

     She offered him a small smile. "Just don't insult my cooking for a week and we'll call it even, all right?"

     Ranma gulped a little bit, but nodded. "Deal."

     "You should go now," Akane said. "Unless you want to study with me. Our fathers might take it the wrong way if we were to be in my room together for too long, and I do have homework to catch up on."

     "Nah, that's all right," he said. "Studying puts me to sleep." Then he spotted the small animal still nestled in Akane's arms. "Speaking of sleep, you're not still taking that dirty pig to bed with you, are you?" he asked, pointing at said pig. Akane looked annoyed.

     "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?" P-chan stuck his tongue out at Ranma. "Why do you hate P-chan so much anyway?"

     "Because he's Ryouga." Ranma's hands flew to his mouth the second the words were uttered, but it was already too late. Akane's right eyebrow was as high as was humanly possible, and a certain little black piglet had eyes the size of dinner plates.

*          *            *

     "What do you mean, 'He's Ryouga'?" Akane asked, confused. What Ranma had just said didn't really make any sense. She didn't get an answer out of him though, as he was just standing there, his hands over his mouth and eyes wide in what looked like terror, shaking his head in disbelief. Puzzled even more, she looked down at her pet, which was behaving in much the same manner.

*          *            *            *            *

Well, that's it for chapter one. I encourage people to speculate about what will happen in the next chapter, as I like to see if anyone comes close. Please post spoiler warnings in your review if you're going to do that though, just in case.

And don't think anything anyone says will have an impact on this story in any way. I've already got it planned out pretty much to the end. =P

For those of you who have read my other stories in the past, I apologize for the extended vacation I've taken from them. I assure you that they will all be finished someday (with the possible exception of _The Prodigal Son_, which at the very least is going to be removed and started over again). I've been very busy this past year, and I was sick for most of last spring. Couple that with a case of writer's block and general laziness, and…well, you know the rest. I just can't seem to get anything to come out the way I want it, and I'm vehemently opposed to putting out crap just for the sake of putting anything out. This story was a miracle, actually. With the exception of an original piece (which can be found under my profile at fictionpress), I haven't written anything in over a year. I just couldn't find the inspiration. So enjoy this one, cuz it's my comeback special. 

P.S. As to the line "I've had better"…I couldn't resist. ^_^


	2. The Truth About Pchan

Disclaimer: Will no longer be necessary.

Author's Notes: Don't you hate when authors don't just get right to the story? Heh. Well, this is the way I've always done it, so there ya go.

I must say I'm not crazy about the title I finally settled upon, so don't be surprised if it changes in the future. After a few chapters, if any of you have an idea for what could make a _better_ title, feel free to suggest one.

Lastly, the first chapter was short, I know. I'm horrible like that. The first few chapters are "experimental," so to speak. In the real world, I'd go back and mess with them after the whole story was finished. But that doesn't work very well in this format if people want to read the story as it comes out, which I find they most often do. I probably will rework some of the earlier chapters when I'm done, but that's a good year down the road. Yes, I said a year. Maybe more. The story is that long. Or maybe I'm just that lazy….

THE TRUTH ABOUT P-CHAN

     "What do you mean, 'He's Ryouga?'" she asked again. He knew she was repeating her question because he'd heard her say something before, but in his momentary shock he hadn't caught what it was. He figured this was his last chance to cover his tracks. He removed his hands from his mouth and tried to fix the situation while he still could.

     "I mean just what I said. P-chan is Ryouga." This time he jammed his fist in his mouth in mad panic. What the hell was wrong with him? The chances of Akane not believing him or dropping her line of questioning were dropping fast.

     "That doesn't make any sense," Akane said. "How could P-chan be Ryouga?"

     For a moment, Ranma just stared at her in disbelief. Could she possibly be that dense? It worked to his advantage of course, since if she couldn't figure it out then Ryouga's secret might still be safe, but it was mind-boggling.

     "E fll nto a sprng t Jssnkyo," Ranma mumbled through his fist. Akane understood him though, and her eyes went wide. Ranma removed his fist and tried biting down on his arm instead. It was bigger.

     "Are you _serious?_" She already sounded furious. All he wanted to do was escape before she found out how long he'd been hiding it from her.

     "Crs I m." This time he pulled off his shirt and stuffed it in his mouth like a gag. He was backing towards the door very quickly, but Akane was advancing on him faster still.

     "Ranma, do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? First of all, why would he be at Jusenkyou?" she demanded. She reached up and ripped the shirt out of his mouth.

     "He followed me to China," Ranma said. It was more of a whimper, really. He made a mad dive for the door, but Akane grabbed his ankle and he fell on his face.

     "I know you don't like P-chan, Ranma," she stared coldly at him. "But this is _not_ funny."

     "It's the truth," he sniveled. By this point he'd given up on trying to stop himself from talking. For some reason he seemed incapable of hiding anything. He knew there had to be a reason for it, and his mind screamed that he knew what that reason was, but he just couldn't think of it.

     "I'm going to take P-chan to the bathroom," Akane finally said. "You're coming with me, and I'll prove to you that he isn't Ryouga, and that you're just a jerk who for some stupid reason is jealous of a pig." She went back to her bed and picked up her little pet, who was still frozen in shock. She then stormed out of her room toward the bathroom. Ranma didn't dare not follow.

*          *            *

     _I can't believe this_ Akane fumed. _Why does Ranma hate P-chan so much? And why is he always trying to get rid of him? Ryouga with a Jusenkyou curse? That's got to be the stupidest story he's ever come up with._

     She made it into the bathroom and turned on the hot water in the sink. She hat to wait for it for a few minutes, just as she did in the mornings.

     _But what if it _is_ true?_ She thought as the water heater went to work. _I take P-chan to bed with me every night! And I change with him in the room! If he actually is Ryouga…_ She couldn't bear to finish the thought. Then another thought hit her. She spun on Ranma, who stood there like a little kid who'd been caught breaking the rules.

     "If this _is_ true, Ranma," she solicited, "why haven't you told me before?" She smirked, knowing that she'd successfully called his bluff. He probably felt pretty stupid.

     "I promised Ryouga that I wouldn't," he said simply. "It's my fault he fell in the spring in the first place."

     That was a surprise.

     "That doesn't make sense," she stated simply. "You think it's your fault because he followed you to China, do you?"

     "No, I accidentally knocked him in without realizing it."

     Throughout the whole exchange, Ranma didn't shift or look up at her or even scratch the back of his head as he usually would do. He simply answered her questions detachedly and without hesitation. It was as if he were on some sort of truth serum or something.

     Wait a minute. Truth serum? That wasn't right, but what about a truth…wish? She remembered making that wish. Had it come true? Could Ranma not lie?

     But if that were the case, then he couldn't be lying now. And that would mean that P-chan actually _was_…no. That was just too ridiculous. But then why was Ranma acting so strange?

     She had to find out if her wish had come true or not. But how? She had to think of a question – something that he would usually lie about – and then ask him to answer her.

     That could wait. Steam was starting to come from the sink, so it was ready to pour on P-chan. She threw Ranma his shirt.

     "Will he have clothes on when he changes back?" she asked simply. She was mocking him of course, but she didn't think he even realized it, because he kept right on going with his little game.

     "I don't know," Ranma answered. "Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I don't get it, really." He didn't put his shirt back on, so she figured he knew what she wanted him to do with it if the situation actually arose.

     "Okay then," she said. She picked up the bucket from over by the shower, and filled it up with hot water from the sink. She heard Ranma gulp behind her as she brought the bucket out over P-chan. Ever so slowly she tilted it, watching as its contents spilled out over her beloved pet…and let out a scream.

*          *            *

     She screamed as soon as he changed. He figured she would. Even though she'd been told about it, it was obvious she hadn't _really_ been expecting it.

     As partially anticipated, Ryouga had no clothes on, so Ranma quickly threw his shirt over the lost boy's naked form. The guy was still in shock. He hadn't moved an inch as P-chan since Ranma had first blurted out his secret, and he still was stiff as a board, eyes like saucers. His hands would twitch every so often, but in all honestly Ryouga wasn't the one Ranma was focused on.

     After screaming, Akane had fallen backwards, and now resided on her rear on the bathroom floor, staring at Ryouga in disbelief. Tears were welling up behind her eyes. Ranma really did feel sorry for her. She loved that stupid pig so much, and she had always trusted Ryouga like a good friend. His pledge to Ryouga aside, he always worried about telling her for fear she'd take it just like this. It was one of the reasons he always tried to get her to figure it out for herself, rather than finding out some other way.

     Then, just as suddenly as the skies of Nerima, Akane opened up and let the torrent flow. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He was uncomfortable when girls cried, especially Akane. He figured he should maybe hold her or something and try to comfort her, but she was probably mad at him as well. Besides, she might take it the wrong way…

     Akane's face collapsed in her hands and he deliberated no more. He dropped down beside her and wrapped his arms around her in what he hoped was a comforting embrace…and nothing more. She reacted instantly and buried her face in his chest as she continued to cry. He held her like that for an indeterminate amount of time while her sobs ebbed away into mere sniffles. When he finally looked up again, the whole family was surrounding them and Ryouga was still on the floor. It was at this time that Ranma realized the boy was not merely in shock, but had actually passed out, his eyes fixed open in fear.

     "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened here," Nabiki declared sardonically. Akane looked up upon hearing her sister and noticed everyone else in the room for the first time.

*          *            *

     She felt so foolish. And her entire family had seen. Lord, half of them had even _known_ all along!

     It had been a half hour since she'd seen her favorite pet transform into the form of someone she'd thought was one of her good friends. Kasumi had come over and walked her out of the bathroom and downstairs to the couch while her father and Saotome-ojiisan got Ryouga some clothes and…escorted him out of the house (Nabiki was taking pictures). Apparently they had told him he could return later to apologize, but in a streak of wisdom that was rare for the two of them they'd advised him that it probably wasn't a very good idea at present.

     The whole time Ranma had not left her side. For this she was both grateful and annoyed. While it was true that he was the one always trying to protect her from Ryouga (she had just realized that's what had always been the trouble between the two of them), it was also he who had kept the secret from her for so long. She had every right to be furious with him.

     But right now she was feeling so incredibly humiliated that she just needed someone to hold onto, and he was just the right size…

     "Akane-chan?" Kasumi was trying to get her attention.

     "Oh, I'm sorry, Oneechan," she apologized, wiping the remainder of her tears away for what she hoped was the last time. "What is it?"

     "I just wanted to make sure you were all right," Kasumi said. "You haven't said a word since it happened except for 'Ryouga' and 'P-chan.'"

     "No, I'm all right, 'neechan," she said. "It was just…a real shock, I guess."

     "Nabiki said you put some kind of mental block on it," Ranma informed her. "Like your mind wasn't letting you find out, no matter how many clues were dropped on ya. I don't know if it's true or not, but it sure answers a lot of _my_ questions, like how you never figured it out no matter how many times I tried to tell you."

     "You tried to tell me?" She asked, turning to her left to look him in the eye. It made her feel better, at least, knowing that. At least he hadn't enjoyed keeping it from her, though that, hindsight was now telling her, should have been obvious. And she knew she could believe him, because her wish had obviously come true.

     He looked at her for a moment, dumbstruck, and then slapped his forehead with the hand that wasn't circled around her waist.

     "I tired all the time!" he said. "I could never outright say it, o'course, but I was always trying to hint at it so you'd figure it out. It was getting' to the point where I figured I'd have to hit you over the head and spell it for you."

     Again she felt the conflicting emotions of anger and gratitude. She was upset because Ranma was all but calling her stupid, but at the same time confessing that he was trying to look out for her. It was very frustrating, to say the least, not knowing how she wanted to feel. But once again she gave into her desperation for comfort and didn't get upset with him. She hugged him tighter as the misery washed over her again as it had been at nearly regular intervals, and was comforted once more when he hugged back. It was an experience she would never admit to enjoying a week later, for sure.

*          *            *

     The next morning came, and Akane promised herself that she wouldn't spend the day feeling sorry for herself. So she ate breakfast as she normally would, left the house with Ranma as she normally would, and was determined that she was going to have a normal day.

     And normal on this day meant tormenting Ranma, since he was still bound to tell the truth about everything. Her mind was busy trying to come up with the best way to put this to her advantage as they walked to school, Ranma on the fence as always.

     "Ranma?" she asked casually. She decided she'd start off by just teasing him.

     "Yeah?"

     "Who do you like better, Ukyou or Shampoo?"

     "Ukyou." Right after he said it, he stopped short on the fence and made a sound akin to a hiccup.

     "Hey, that's not funny, Akane!" he yelled indignantly. She couldn't help but giggle. She thought about asking who he liked better between Ukyou and herself, but then decided maybe she'd rather not know. Why should she even care, anyway?

     "Stop laughing now, I mean it! You're the one who got me into this in the first place, you know. Can't you unwish it or something?"  
     "I don't think so," she said. "What's the big deal, anyway? So you have to tell the truth for a day, so what? They say honesty is important, you know."

     "It's a big deal because I shouldn't have to tell people stuff if I don't want to."

     Akane instantly felt guilty. She knew how much Ranma hated being forced into things. To make matters worse, it just so happened that people were constantly trying to force him into a lot of different things, and she was just adding to his problems. 

     "I'm sorry, Ranma," she said earnestly. "I won't make you tell me anything else, okay?"

     "Okay," he agreed. "And don't tell anybody else about this wish of yours, all right?"

     "I won't. But I'm not taking the blame for anything that comes out of your mouth today, either." They started walking again.

     "It's weird though, y'know?" he asked. "I mean, I can't lie, but you didn't say anything in your wish about me having to answer when people ask questions, did you?"

     Akane thought for a moment. "No, I didn't."

     "Then how come I keep sayin' stuff without meaning to? I mean, I could just not say anything at all, and that wouldn't be a lie, right?"

     "Have you tried that?" she asked.

     "Course I've tried it! You saw me tryin' to cover my mouth last night, didn't you?" Akane blanked for a moment. Last night was still fresh in her mind, and being reminded of it brought it all racing back.

     "Oh crap, I'm sorry, Akane!" Ranma sputtered. "I didn't mean to remind you of that!"

     "No, it's okay," she waved him off as she fought to get her emotions back under control. "I did have it coming, I guess. And I really am glad I found out. It's better than going forever without knowing, especially considering how many other people did know. I can't believe my own father didn't even tell me!"

     "I know," Ranma agreed. He jumped down off the fence to walk with her on the ground. "He and pops were usin' him to try and bring you and me closer together or something." Akane was surprised when Ranma stopped short again. She turned back to look at him.

     "What is it?"

     "I didn't even know I knew that," he said. 

     "What do you mean?" she asked, curious.

     "Well, I didn't know they were doing that," Ranma told her, "although I probably shoulda guessed. This truth stuff is kinda weird."

     Off in the distance, they heard the bell ring, announcing they had exactly one minute to get to class.

     "Ranma!" Akane shouted as she turned and ran towards the building, him hot on her heels. "You made us late again!"

     "I did!" he argued back. Well, he tried to argue, anyway. His tone of voice and his words didn't match up. Despite her frustration, Akane couldn't help but laugh.

*          *            *

     Ranma managed to make it through the first half of the day without saying anything truthful. Though that was mostly due to the fact that he spent most of his morning either standing in the hall with buckets or asleep at his desk.

     Lunchtime arrived however, and while it was usually Ranma's favorite part of the day, he was dreading it on this day. At lunch he would have to _talk_ to people.

     He tried to find a place to be by himself, but he was cut off by a crowd of guys who wanted to know what Akane was so angry about the day before, and why she was not the least bit angry with him now. Also, some of the girls wanted to know why Akane seemed depressed, (the guys hadn't noticed). Since she wasn't telling them herself, they figured Ranma was the next best person to ask.

     "So why _was_ she upset yesterday, Ranma?" Hiroshi asked. It was the first question Ranma could hear clearly over the babble.

     "It was her birthday and I didn't know," he said. This got a shocked reaction from everyone, for even the guys knew that you didn't just forget your girl's birthday. It simply wasn't done.

     "How did you forget something like that?" Daisuke prodded.

     "I didn't say I forgot," Ranma snapped, "I said I never knew in the first place."

     "You mean she never told you?" one girl asked.

     "Or maybe you just weren't listening, huh?" another one sneered.

     "_Nobody_ ever told me," Ranma said, perhaps a little louder than he should have. "But we worked it out and she's not mad about it anymore, so stop buggin' me about it."

     "So that's why she's not mad today then," Daisuke surmised. Ranma rolled his eyes. He tried to say "brilliant" in a sarcastic fashion, but nothing came out.

     "Why's she so upset today then?" asked one of the girls from before.

     "What do you mean?" asked Hiroshi, before Ranma could answer. "She looks fine to me."

     "Hiroshi, you're an idiot," Ranma said bluntly. Then, before he could stop himself, he continued on to say "She's upset because she found out she's been sleeping with Ryouga without knowing about it."

     The astonished cries of everyone who heard Ranma's declaration drew the attention of the entire remainder of the student population, including Akane herself.

     "What do you mean she's been sleeping with Ryouga?" one girl shouted.

     "I mean he's been sleeping in her bed, and she didn't know it." Ranma was desperately trying to escape, but the mob had him surrounded on all sides. They were so tightly packed he couldn't even jump away.

     "How could she not know?" another girl exclaimed.

     "Because Ryouga was…"

     "RANMA!!"

     The crowd parted in front of him, and Akane stomped up to him, aura blazing and fire in her eyes.

     "Looks like she's mad again," Daisuke whispered to Hiroshi just loud enough for Ranma to hear.

     "Akane!" he greeted nervously, his hands held up in front of him defensively. 

     "Ranma, you hentai! How dare you go telling everybody that!"

     "You mean it's _true_?" one of the girls asked in disbelief.

     "N-no, of course not!" Akane declared. Her hesitation and her blush were enough to cause some to doubt her word, however.

     "Akane, could I talk to you alone for a minute?" Ranma asked. He then proceeded to grab her hand and pull her away through the opening she had made in the crowd while it was still there. The two of them easily outran the rest of the student body, and once they were a good distance away from the school they came to a stop under a tree.

     "What did you have to tell them that for?" Akane sobbed. She moved her hand to strike him, but it was without her usual force and Ranma caught her hand easily.

     "I couldn't help it!" he told her. "It was your stupid wish that did this to me, remember?"

     "Well now what am I going to do?"

     "You should've just let me finish," Ranma said, thinking of something all to late as usual. "If I'd told them that your pet pig was actually Ryouga transformed they wouldn't have believed a word of it."

     "Do you think that will still work?" she asked, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. He shook his head.

     "Not now. It'll look too strange."

     "Well what do I _do_ then, you jerk?" She was getting angry again.

     "Gimmie a second!" He started to think.

     "Hmph. Like anything _you'll_ come up with will work."

     "I don't hear you throwing out any ideas!"

     "It wasn't my fault to begin with! Why should I have to fix it?"

     "It was your wish!"

     "Well if you hadn't gone out and gotten into a fight with everyone in town and missed my birthday, then I wouldn't have _made_ that wish!" She got right up in his face for the last part.

     "Oh yeah? Well if _you _hadn't been such an unceueuu…an unkyuuu…an unk-ky," he stopped and had to catch his breath. Akane looked at him strangely. He must've looked awfully strange, trying to force something out of his mouth that wouldn't come out.

     "What? What is it?" she asked as he massaged his jaw.

     "I wanted to call you an uncute tomboy but…but I can't."

     "What do you mean, 'you can't'?"

     "Just what I said!" he snapped. "I wanna say it, but the words won't come out!"

  
*          *            *     

      Akane's smile started small and then grew as realization came to her.

     "Oh, I get it," she said with a smirk. "You can't lie, right? So this means that you don't actually think I'm an uncute tomboy, right?"

     Ranma's face resembled a deer caught in headlights. "What do you mean?" he said quickly. "Of course I don't! I mean…dooo-n't. Dammit!"

     Akane couldn't help but laugh. And while she was immensely enjoying watching Ranma suffer, there was another feeling inside that she wasn't letting him see. It was a kind of relieved joy. She was happy that Ranma didn't actually think what he always said he thought of her. It made her feel good in ways that she didn't quite understand. But it was so funny watching him fight with himself over it.

     "We should get back to school, don't you think?" she asked cheerfully. It appeared to catch Ranma off-guard, who was still struggling with his unintentional admission.

     "Huh? But what about…" he trailed off.

     "Oh, it'll be fine," she said. "We'll think of something. Besides, it'll blow over pretty quickly if we don't make a big deal out of it. Rumors are always coming and going at that school."

     He didn't say anything, which – she considered for a moment – was probably a good thing, if he could keep it up. He followed her back to the school, but didn't go inside.

     "I never got to eat lunch," he said. "You go on in, I'll be in in a little while."

     "You're just going to leave me to them?" she asked. She was teasing him of course, but he did look guilty about it.

     "Better you try to explain than me, right?" he said. "I'll probably just say something else that'll get us in even more trouble."

     "All right," she agreed. "But you'd better not skip out on the whole day, Ranma. If I have to go back in there, then so do you."

     "I said I'd be in in a little while, didn't I?" 

     He had. "Okay, I believe you. Just hurry up." 

     So she went back to class, leaving Ranma to finish his lunch. As expected, a huge group of students was waiting to interrogate her upon her return.

     "Is it true?" Sayuri asked.

     "Were you really sleeping with Ryouga?" Yuka put in.

     "Of course not," Akane waved them off. It seemed incredibly easy to do, even considering she was used to doing that sort of thing. She did have a lot of secrets to keep, after all. In fact, since her conversation with Ranma under the tree, she hadn't been feeling as bad about anything, the Ryouga/P-chan incident included. Maybe it had something to do with what she'd found out…

     "So why did Ranma say it, then?" Sayuri asked.

     "Oh, you know him. We were arguing, and I said some things to Ryouga about him, so he figured he'd get back at us both at the same time." She tried to keep her story as vague as possible, in the chance that Ranma may be called upon to verify it. She was pushing it already.

     "That's low, even for him," Yuka said, disgusted. Sayuri nodded her agreement.

     "Don't worry about it," Akane told them. "It'll blow over within a day. It was a pretty unbelievable story, after all. Besides, how could I be sleeping with somebody and not even know it?"

     "He could have a curse like Ranma's," Sayuri suggested. "Only he turns into an animal or something, like your pet pig, P-chan."

     Akane sweatdropped. "Ahehe…I guess you're right."

     They couldn't talk anymore, because Himura-sensei called the class to order. He took a quick glance around the room, and immediately noticed Ranma's absence.

     "Where is Saotome-kun?" he asked the class. "He was here this morning, was he not?" Several students answered yes. Himura-sensei sighed; it wasn't as if this were the first time this had happened.

     "We'll just have to start without him then. He can stand in the hall if he decides to come back."

     Akane just shook her head.

     Several minutes later, Ranma did come back. Himura-sensei looked up at him, and he immediately went for the buckets.

     "Not so fast, Saotome-kun," sensei stopped him. "Is there a reason you are late to class almost every day?"

     "Cuz I think you're a boring hack who doesn't know what he's talkin' about, and doesn't teach anything worth learning."

     Himura-sensei fumed. He didn't get a chance to yell however, as Ranma picked up the buckets and went straight for the hall without saying another word. It took another two minutes for Himura-sensei to get the class to stop laughing and back to work. Ranma was never let back in.

*          *            *

     After school, Ranma left the building so quickly that Akane had to jog for a bit to catch up with him.

     "Why the rush?" Akane asked once she came along side him near the school gate.

     "Do ya need to ask? I just wanna go how where I won't have to talk to anybody until this stupid wish wears off."

     "It was pretty funny what you said to Himura-sensei though," she giggled.

     "Yeah, but I'm gonna have to pay for it for the rest of the month, I bet," he said bitterly.

     "SAOTOME RANMA!" 

     The cry came from behind, just inside the gate. Ranma stopped in his tracks, an expression of utmost annoyance and contempt on his face. He knew exactly who it was.

     "What do you want, Kunou?" he demanded, twirling around to face his adversary. Kunou was holding his bokken out towards Ranma, as was his routine.

     "You have been spreading foul rumors about the fair Tendou Akane, and I shall not stand for it!"

     "First of all, it wasn't a rumor, it was t-" Akane's hand slapped over his mouth before he could finish. He thanked her a thousand times in his head.

     "Nobody believed it, Kunou-senpai," Akane said. "There wasn't any real harm done."

     "Ah, my beauteous Tendou Akane, how noble thou art; how just! But nay, it is the principle of the matter! Harmful or not, the intent to do harm was still present, and for that this vile cur must pay!"

     Ranma's eye's narrowed in irritation. He was about to remove Akane's hand from his mouth and say something, but she said it for him.

     "Will you just give it a rest?" She hollered. "Just go home and leave us alone for once!"

     Surprisingly – or not surprisingly, depending on how well one knew him – Kunou did not budge, but rather dropped his sword arm to his side and began to weep.

     "Oh, how sad it is!" he lamented. "This foul sorcerer has ensnared you so strongly that you even come to his defense, relieving him from even fighting his own battles! Fear not, fair Tendou Akane, for I shall free you from his cursed grasp, and then you shall be free to love me!"

     He raised his sword once more and charged. Ranma pushed Akane aside and prepared to fight, but just as Kunou was almost upon him, Akane's leg came out of nowhere and the kendoist was sent flying.

     "Who could ever love _you_?" she shouted, her leg still at the height of her kick. Ranma grinned.

     "I always love watching you do that," he told her.

     "Oh?"

     "Yeah. It's just a reminder that he has no chance with you." He realized what he'd said and hoped it wouldn't go any farther.  He didn't mind telling her that, but even he didn't know what the answer would be if she were to ask the next obvious question…

*          *            *

     "Why should that matter to you?" She asked, turning to him. As she did, she saw the immense fear in his eyes even as his mouth opened to answer her.

     "Because-" she place her hand over his mouth before he could get any farther. After a second or two she removed it.

     "What'd you do that for?" Ranma asked, clearly relieved that she had.

     "I told you I wouldn't make you tell me anything else. You're right; it isn't fair if you can't stop yourself." She told herself that was the whole reason, and she hadn't done it because she partly hadn't wanted to hear the answer herself. Yes, that was it. It was just for Ranma.

     "Thanks, Akane," he gave her a true smile, one that she didn't get to see very often. They walked the rest of the way home in silence.

*          *            *            *            *

That's chapter two. I already changed the title. I said I would, didn't I? This one works, but I might still change it later on.

No, Himura-sensei does not exist in the manga or the anime (not to _my_ knowledge, anyway.) I made him up. If you're curious about his name, it's because I was just reading a Rurouni Kenshin manga. =P

If you like this story, tell your friends, won't you? ^_^


	3. The Truth AboutEverything

Author's Notes: Okay, this'll probably be the last chapter in this story arc. I needed it mostly to set up the later ones. Don't worry, they'll be longer.

I had trouble trying to come up with wacky situations that haven't been done in some form to go along with Ranma's new condition. In the end, I just said, "screw it." After all, anything I come up with has most likely been done somewhere by someone at one point or another. The odds of me reading it or people reading this story reading it are small. So if you've seen something you've seen before, chalk it up to that.

Also, if something in this chapter (or later in the story) is very similar to something in the manga, there are three simple explanations for that: 1) I thought it was funny, so I used it. Remember, this story breaks off from the manga at an undetermined point so a lot that happened in canon didn't happen here (yet!). 2) I forgot. Honestly, I can't remember every single little thing from a 38-volume manga. In fact, I'm sure a couple of the "great ideas" I've had that came seemingly from nowhere were inspired subconsciously by Takahashi's work. Hehe. 3) I haven't read it yet. It's true; I have yet to finish the entire series, even though I know the end. It's my secret shame.

The preceding explanation holds true for any similarities with the anime, as well.

THE TRUTH ABOUT…EVERYTHING

The rest of the trip home was made without incident, and upon their arrival Ranma decided he would isolate himself for the remainder of the afternoon to avoid any other human contact. After all, Akane was the only one who knew about the wish and knew not to ask him certain things. Telling anyone else would be incredibly stupid. His father and Tendou-ojiisan would undoubtedly try to get him to confess something, and telling Nabiki was too ridiculous to even think about.

And so it was that Ranma raced off to the dojo after an extremely rushed "hello," leaving Akane to come up with an explanation for his behavior.

----

"What's wrong with Ranma-kun, Akane-chan?" Kasumi asked as Akane entered the kitchen.

"Eh? Oh, nothing's wrong," she answered nervously. "Ranma just said how he wanted to do some serious training this afternoon."

"Well good for him!" Kasumi smiled sweetly.

"Yes, good," said Genma, who had appeared out of nowhere and was sampling some of the riceballs Kasumi was making. "I'm glad he's showing some initiative for once." His mouth was full of rice as he spoke. "Perhaps I should go and check up on him and see how his training has progressed." He stuffed another riceball into his mouth.

"Ah…" Akane stammered. "Ojiisan, I don't think that…"

"Nonsense," Genma said. "As his father I must monitor his training very closely, especially if he is to inherit the Saotome school. If you'll excuse me, Kasumi-chan." He bowed to Kasumi as he swiped another riceball for the road.

"Ranma…" Akane whispered worriedly before rushing off after the older martial artist.

"Oh my," Kasumi declared. "I appear not to have made as many riceballs as I thought."

----

Akane arrived in time to see Ranma and his father leaping through the air in a sparring match. They appeared to be speaking to each other, which probably wasn't a good sign.

"Akane!" Ranma called as soon as he noticed her. It was clearly a cry for help. What he and Saotome-ojiisan had been discussing she didn't know, but it was obviously something Ranma didn't care to continue. What should she do?

"So what happened after Mousse attacked you?" Genma was asking, either oblivious or indifferent to her presence.

"I fought him and beat him, and was coming home when Kodachi jumped me and drugged me," Ranma said. All the while he was looking to Akane with panicked eyes.

"I see," Ojiisan said as he parried an attack and countered with one of his own. "Trouble, that girl. Then what?"

"Ucchan found us and saved me somehow, but then she dragged me back to her restaurant instead of letting me come home." His eyes were growing more and more desperate. As soon as this story was over, the more awkward questions would come.

"I see. So you finally managed to escape, and decided to use that Ryouga as a distraction to keep Akane's ire off of yourself. An excellent tactic." Ranma landed a solid kick in the older man's gut that sent him sprawling across the dojo.

"I didn't do that, you gutless old man!" Ranma yelled at his father, panic temporarily replaced by indignation. "Akane didn't deserve to find out like that!"

A smile found its way to Akane's lips even as she came up with a plan. Ranma sometimes kept a bucket of cold water in the dojo so he could train his female half's speed. If it was here…

Looking around, she saw it a few feet to her right. Going over to pick it up, she chucked its contents at her fiancé before he or his father could yell anything else.

"Oi!" Ranma yelled, spinning around on her. "What'd you do that for, Akane?" Amused that he'd forgotten he was begging for help mere seconds ago, she dropped into a fighting stance.

"Spar with me, Ranma," she said. He was confused, and he showed it.

"What are you talkin' about?" the now redheaded girl asked. "You're still in your uniform and everything!"

She cursed him under her breath. _"At least help me out a bit here, you dolt!" _she screamed in her head.

"I think the two of you having a sparring match would be an excellent idea," Genma said, getting up from the floor.

"_Feh. You just don't want to get pummeled anymore,"_ Akane thought.

"Feh. You just don't want to get pummeled anymore," Ranma spat tauntingly. Akane couldn't suppress her giggle.

"Well, in any case," Genma said, trying to regain face, "Ranma is right, Akane. You should at least change into a gi first. Why don't we schedule a match for ten minutes from now? That will give everyone time to come in and watch." Akane sweatdropped. If ever a plan backfired, this was it.

"Um, okay, Ojiisan." Genma nodded and left, presumably to gather the rest of the family.

"What did you do that for?" Ranma demanded. "Now everyone is gonna be in here!"

Akane had the tact to look sheepish. "Gomen! I was trying to get your dad to leave you alone!"

"Well now I have to fight you in front of everyone and not say anything. This stinks."

Akane couldn't help herself. "Ranma, why do you never want to spar with me?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll hurt you," came his immediate reply. This hadn't been quite what she was expecting, and she didn't know whether to feel touched or irritated. She went for the latter.

"What, you think I can't handle myself in a fight? That I'm no match for you?"

"Yes."

"…"

The bluntness of the answer was such that Akane actually felt as if she'd been struck. She didn't know what she'd been expecting to say, but it wasn't that. In the heat of the argument she'd forgotten about the wish, and she was caught completely off-guard.

Ranma seemed to realize what he'd said a few seconds after he'd said it, because he immediately started to apologize. He tried to, anyway.

"Akane! I didn't mean it like that! I mean…well, you're a girl, and I don't like fighting girls because they're weaker, and not that you're weak…but well…you're weaker than me…and it's not my fault that your training was incomplete, and well..." he cut off as he finally realized he wasn't getting anywhere. Akane had been seething through the whole thing, and now she was practically boiling.

"RanMA!" She rushed at him in her rage, completely forgetting she was still in her uniform, which had been the reason for putting off the fight in the first place.

"Yaa!" Ranma dodged a punch. "Akane, hold on a minute!" He dodged a kick and another punch. "You were supposed to change into a gi first!" He ducked back as a kick came at his head, and then flipped backward to get out of her range.

"You jerk!" she yelled back at him. "And here I was trying to help you, too!"

"Then why did you start asking me questions? You knew what would happen!"

"Asking questions can only turn out bad if the truth is bad, Ranma. Do you really have so many secrets and think so badly about people that we can't ask you _anything_?"

He had to take a pause at that one. Was he really incapable of uttering the truth without hurting someone? He didn't think so, but then why did Akane's words sting so much?

"It's not about everything!" he shot back. "You just take everything the wrong way!"

"Oh yeah? How?" She was still yelling, but at least she wasn't in a fighting stance anymore.

"Well, like me saying you're not as strong as I am. That's true, isn't it?"

"Well…yes, but…"

"But what? It's not even my fault! I trained every day since I was six. I'm stronger than most people. Why does that make you so mad?"

"Well you don't have to just come right out and_ say_ it!"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Well thanks to you, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

That seemed to be enough to end the argument, because Akane didn't shout anything back.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, Akane," he said once he was sure she calmed down. "But that really is the reason I don't like fighting you. If I go all out I could hurt you, and if I don't you'll get mad at me for holding back. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to make you mad. So what am I supposed to do?"

Akane could not say anything. Instead, she looked at the boy-turned-girl in front of her in a state of almost disbelief. He was right, and for the first time in a long time she really knew he was right. She didn't have any time to reflect on it further, because Genma returned with her family, all of them looking forward to watching the match between her and Ranma. Nabiki had brought her video camera and everything, and had a devilish smirk on her face. She was suddenly reminded of how angry she was at her father and Saotome-ojiisan because of what they'd been doing with Ryouga behind her back. But there wasn't time for that now. Ranma was still in a pickle and loathe as she was to admit it, it was _kind of_ her fault.

"Saotome tells us that you have challenged Ranma to a sparring match, Akane," her father said. "Good for you. It will be a good way to prepare for when the two of you inherit the school, and t may help you bond as well. I'm proud of you."

"Make it good, ne?" Nabiki added, waving her video camera. "The tape of this match will fetch a good price."

"Akane-chan, I thought you were going to change first," Genma said. "After all, it is not befitting a young lady to fight in a school uniform."

"Indeed," her father agreed. "And it may slow you down as well."

"That's my fault," Ranma spoke up. "I said some stuff I shouldn't have said and we had a fight when she was supposed to be changin'."

"Oh?" Soun looked menacingly at Ranma.

"It's okay, Tousan," Akane said. "We're fine now." She smiled. Ranma gave her a puzzled look and she smiled at him as well.

"Well that's fine, then," Soun said. "But you should go get changed now. Kasumi has to make dinner, after all."

"Actually, we aren't going to fight," Akane said. Everyone – including Ranma – looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"Ranma's much stronger than I am, and faster," she explained. "There's no point in me fighting him until I've trained some more to catch up."

Ranma stood dumbfounded. Had she said what he thought she said? It was so unlike Akane that it was almost…creepy. Not that he was complaining.

"It's a shame to hear that, Akane-chan," Genma said. "But knowing one's own limitations is admirable. Perhaps we should up her training, ne, Tendou-kun?"

"It may be for the best," Soun agreed, seemingly reluctantly. "We need them to be able to bond, after all."

"Excellent! Maybe we can get the master to help as well."

"Erm, Saotome-kun, I don't think that's a good idea. You …_remember_ the master's training methods, don't you? And you know how he is with young women."

"That's right, that's right," Genma nodded. "Very well, you and I will train Akane together. Ranma, be sure to train on your own even if I am not around."

"You don't help much anymore anyway, Pops," Ranma said under his breath. His father apparently didn't hear him, but he had a feeling that Akane did.

"Well, if nothing's happening around here, I have things to do," Nabiki announced as she turned to leave.

"Yes, I must be going as well," Kasumi said. "I have to begin preparations for dinner. It will be at the usual time." She followed her sister out of the dojo.

"We'll leave you two alone now," Genma said. "Akane, we will work out a training regimen for you and begin you on it as soon as it is prepared." He and Soun also left, leaving Ranma and Akane alone in the dojo once more. Now was the time for Ranma to ask the question he was dying to ask.

"Why did you tell them that?" he asked her. "I would have sparred with you now, you know."

"I know, but you would have held back and you know it."

"Well yeah, because I…"

"Don't want to hurt me," she finished his sentence for him. "Yeah, I know." She smiled at him.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, confused. "Weren't you mad about this just a few minutes ago?"

"Well, I can't say it makes me angry that you don't want to hurt me," she said. "I don't know. I guess I'm just upset that I'm not as good at you is all."

"Whoa. Did someone put a truth wish on you, too?"

"Very funny." She narrowed her eyes at him. "What I mean is that it's frustrating. And when you say you won't fight me, it feels like you're rubbing it in."

"I'm not."

"I know. This wish might have been a good thing after all. I'm finding out things that make it so I won't have to be angry at you as much."

"Heh. It seems to be having the opposite effect on everyone else."

"Just your bad luck, ne?" She grinned at him.

"Still, if it has a positive result with anyone, I'm glad it's you." He blushed immediately after saying that and tried to avoid her eyes. She caught his gaze for a moment, however, and her grin morphed into a warm smile.

"Me too."

----

Ranma made it through the next couple of hours with minimal incident, training by himself in the dojo. According to Akane, she'd made the wish some time around eight o'clock in the evening, so he only had a few more left to go. If nothing happened…

BOOM!

His thought process was interrupted by a resounding crash that shook the dojo. Even if he hadn't known what it was right away, what came next certainly gave it away.

"Airen!" Shampoo came bursting through the hole she'd made in the wall and made a beeline to glomp him.

"Ranma? What was that?" Akane came bursting into the dojo, though she also probably knew what it was right away. "Shampoo!" She exclaimed when she caught sight of the Amazon.

"What violent girl want? Leave Shampoo and Airen alone!" the violet-tressed destroyer demanded.

"I might consider it if _you_ weren't the one bursting onto _my_ family property!" Akane shot back. Ranma rolled his eyes. The exchange was so typical he had a feeling he could recite the rest of it verbatim.

"Hmph! Shampoo only come for what is rightfully hers!" Then she turned in Ranma's direction. "Airen, why you run away from Shampoo yesterday?"

"I didn't. Mousse came and you left," he answered simply.

"You right! That troublesome Mousse always mess things up between Shampoo and her Airen!" She stomped her foot to emphasize her displeasure.

"He only does to you what you do to me all the time," Ranma observed. This seemed to make Shampoo angry.

"Not compare Shampoo to Mousse! Shampoo chase her Airen because she loves him, and because law says she must marry him!"

"Well I don't _want_ to marry you!" Ranma yelled harshly. He heard Akane gasp and remembered the enchantment he was under. He'd better finish this quickly, because annoying as she was, he had no particular desire to make Shampoo cry again.

----

Akane worked hard to contain…whatever it was. Surprise? That might have been it. Ranma had just told Shampoo that he didn't want to marry her, and there was no possible she could doubt him. It suddenly occurred to her that she always _did_ doubt him whenever he said that, though she couldn't quite think why. Maybe it was because he always let Shampoo hang all over him like a hussy. She narrowed her eyes. Yes, that was probably it. But here he was, incapable of uttering anything untrue, saying he did not want to marry the Amazon princess.

Of course Shampoo didn't know any of this, so she just reacted as she always did.

"You no have choice! Amazon law say you have to marry Shampoo. You grow to like over time, Shampoo promise." She grinned.

"Well Amazon law is stupid," Ranma spat. Akane couldn't suppress her giggle. Shampoo spun toward her angrily.

"Violent girl not laugh! This none of your business!"

"She's laughing because she knows I'm telling the truth," Ranma said. Unlike all the other times he'd said things he normally wouldn't have, he was smirking. Shampoo spun back to him again.

"Shampoo not come here to fight with Airen. Only wanted to know why you ran off yesterday. I go now, but we talk later." The last part was said as a threat. She turned and stormed off through the hole she'd made in the wall.

"Do I need to stay here in case anyone else we know stops by before the wish is over?" Akane asked mockingly.

"That would really help," came Ranma's answer. Akane's eyes widened for a moment, but she stayed.

----

A few hours later and Ranma was almost in the clear. Since they didn't know exactly what time the wish had been made, only "around eight o'clock," they weren't sure when it would wear off. They knew it would be gone by quarter past, since that was the time Ranma got home and she'd most certainly made the wish by then. (Akane had asked if anyone knew when Ranma had returned the night before, and Nabiki knew because of what she'd been watching on the television at the time.)

So that was what they were waiting for. Ranma would train, and Akane would watch and occasionally get up to train with him, only to be corrected rather candidly, which irritated her to such a degree that she had to sit down again or risk losing her temper. She was fighting very hard not to do that, since while some of the things Ranma said were _more_ annoying than usual since she knew they were true, she felt guilty for making the wish in the first place. So she sat and watched, trying very hard to avoid any conversation that might make her angry. It was a new experience, to say the least.

About an hour after Shampoo's departure, Kasumi announced dinner. Ranma didn't want to go, and Akane made up an excuse for him and then brought him back some food later. Their fathers, at least, were thrilled that they were spending so much time together all of a sudden, and weren't bothering them. Nabiki, however, was highly suspicious. She had peeked in on them twice, but saw nothing out of the ordinary going on, which of course only fueled her curiosity.

On her third try, Nabiki struck what she thought just be pay dirt. Ranma was apparently taking a break from training, and he and Akane were just sitting down and talking. She knew they did this from time to time, but after spending all day together – especially after everything that had happened the day before – was undeniably dubious behavior.

"Well hello, you two," she greeted casually as she entered the dojo and strolled over to them.

"Nabiki!" Ranma shouted in alarm. Alarm that Akane appeared to share. Fishy indeed.

"What do you want, Neesan?" Akane asked warily.

"Oh, I was just wondering why Ranma here has holed himself away in the dojo all day," she said.

"Because I can't lie," Ranma said. She hadn't been expecting that.

"What? That doesn't make any sense."

"He means he can't lie about why we're in here," Akane added quickly – too quickly. "Father and Saotome-ojiisan are starting up a training regimen for me, and Ranma's trying to prepare me for what I may have to do."

"Is that it?" She directed her question specifically at Ranma, who shook his head. "What is it, then?"

"It's just what I said. Akane made a wish yesterday that I couldn't tell a lie, and it came true. I'm hiding in here so I don't say anything I wouldn't want to say."

Tendou Nabiki was a master of masking her emotions. No one could tell what she was really thinking unless she wanted them too. In this instance, however, even she could not keep the look of pure glee that crossed her face. Christmas had come early this year for Tendou Nabiki.

"Is that so?" she asked as mock-sweetly as she could. "How fascinating. How do you know it works?"

"Because I can't stop myself from saying something, even if I want to say something else."

This just kept getting better.

"Oh really? Is that how you let slip about P-chan last night?"

"Yes."

"Neesan, that's enough!" Akane had jumped to her feet and was now staring angrily at her sister. "You leave him alone!"

"Why would I want to do that?" Nabiki laughed. "Besides, aren't you the one who wished for him to be like this? What room do you have to talk?" She sidestepped her little sister and moved in on her prey. "I just have a few questions, and then I'll be on my way."

"Feh! What makes you think I'll stick around and answer them?" Ranma countered. He glared right back at her with a cocky expression on his face. "All I have to do is leave through that hole Shampoo made and you won't be able to catch up with me."

"That's true," Nabiki admitted. "But then I just might have to inform the whole school that your rumor today about Akane sleeping with Ryouga without knowing it was true, and you did nothing to stop it."

Behind her, Akane gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"How could you do that to your own sister?" Ranma demanded furiously.

"It would damage you a lot more than it would damage her, I assure you. There is a chance I'm not that heartless, true, but do you really want to leave and find out?"

A moment passed in which nothing was said, and Ranma glanced over at Akane, who looked like she didn't know what to do.

"Fine. Ask your stupid questions."

"Ranma, no! Just run away! She can't really do anything, she's just trying to trick you!"

"But what if she's not? It's my fault that rumor got out in the first place, and it's my fault for not exposing Ryouga to you sooner. I'm not going to let her do that to you. Even if she is just bluffing, I can't take the chance."

"Ranma…"

"Excellent!" Nabiki explained happily. "Now, where to start. I need some information that I can use, but the trick is asking the right questions. Even the truth can be manipulated if the question is asked incorrectly." She put her finger to her chin as Ranma and Akane looked on in disbelief.

"Ah!" She said suddenly. "I know just where to start. Ranma, did you enjoy it when that Sanzenin guy kissed you when you were in female form?"

"Are you kidding? I hated it! What kind of sick question is that?" Ranma shouted indignantly.

"Just checking, just checking," Nabiki said, holding out her hands in front of her. "It was a long shot, but you have to admit that information would have been worth a lot if it were true.

"Just hurry up and leave me alone," Ranma grumbled.

"Anxious now, are we?" Nabiki teased. "Well, we'll get to the good stuff any minute." She paused to think again. "Okay, here we go. Have you ever pleasured yourself while in your female form?"

"A…couple of times," Ranma stuttered.

"Ranma, you pervert!" Akane screeched.

"Like that thought would never cross your mind if you changed sexes!" Ranma shouted back. Akane hung her head and blushed a little, saying no more.

"Only a couple?" Nabiki pressed. "I'm impressed. I would think a guy would get addicted."

"How can you talk about things like that so casually?" Ranma and Akane demanded simultaneously, incredulous.

"Now now, let's not get upset. That last bit of information wasn't really worth anything anyway, I was just curious. As I said, I'd expect most guys to do it nonstop if they ever got the opportunity."

"Would you change the subject already!" The two of them shouted again.

"All right, all right," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "Have you ever betrayed a promise to someone, Ranma?"

"Ryouga," Ranma said.

"P-chan?"

Ranma nodded.

"Well, I already knew that. No one else?" Ranma shook his head.

"Hmph. This isn't working out at all," Nabiki lamented. "You have to have _some_ secrets that I can use."

"I killed someone for interrogating me once," Ranma said suddenly. Nabiki snapped to attention and looked him in the eyes. They were wider than usual.

"What?"

"In China. They were interrogating me about Jusenkyo, and after a while I just kind of snapped into neko-ken. When I came out, I found out the man who'd been interrogating me was dead, and he had scratch marks all over him. They said it was from a giant cat of some kind."

"You-you can't be serious," Nabiki stammered. Akane too, looked horror-struck, but said nothing.

"Absolutely. I hate being asked a bunch of questions. Especially ones I don't want to answer." His eyes opened a little wider, and she heard his knuckles crack. Blackmail material or not, it was time to go.

"Well, I've got just about everything I'm going to get, I think," she said as calmly as she could. It took all her skill to keep her voice from shaking. "I'll go now." She turned and practically ran out of the dojo.

----

As soon as Nabiki was gone, Ranma burst out laughing. Akane didn't see what on earth was so funny. She was terrified. Ranma, who noticed this after a minute, turned to her and said, "Look at your watch, Akane."

She did. It said the time was 8:02.

"What does this mean?" she asked. "Is the wish over?"

"Uh-huh." He grinned. "What, you didn't think I'd ever actually _kill_ somebody, did you?"

"Erm…"

"You did?" his face went from amused to hurt. "C'mon, Akane, I thought you knew me better than that."

"Well I do…but the wish…"

"I was counting on Nabiki falling for it, but not you," he said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," was all she could say.

"Well, anyway, it's over. She'll be mad when she finds out I tricked her, though. Heh heh."

"How did you know the wish was over?" Akane asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"My answer to the last question," he said. "I only said Ryouga, but there was another person I should have said."

"Who?"

"You."

"What?" Akane was confused now.

"Last night, I promised I'd be back for dinner. Even if it wasn't on purpose, the promise was still broken, and I should have mentioned it if I had to tell the truth about everything. But I didn't." He grinned triumphantly, apparently very proud of his own cleverness.

"Good one," Akane congratulated him. "But wait, are you saying those are the only two promises you've ever broken in your whole life?"

"No, but those are the only two I can remember," he said, scratching the back of his head.

Akane sweatdropped. "I should have known."

"Hey, if it was something major like promising to return a family treasure or something, I'd remember. Don't go thinking I never keep my promises or anything."

"Okay, okay." Akane thought for a minute. "You know, now that this is all over, I should be mad at you for not telling me about Ryouga before."

"What?" Ranma exclaimed. "Didn't we go through all this last night?"

Akane stuck her tongue out at him, revealing that she was joking.

"That wasn't funny at all."

"Really? I thought it was." She grinned at him.

"You're such an uncute tomboy."

But instead of insulting him back like she always did, Akane laughed. It was a very mirthful laugh, too. Ranma didn't understand until he remembered their conversation earlier in the tree. His face fell.

"That's never going to work again, is it?" She shook her head with that annoying grin still spread across her face. He growled.

"Well, let's get out of here," he finally said. "I've been training all day and I need to go take a bath."

"All right," she agreed. "And we have homework, too."

"What!?"

"You would have known about it if you hadn't spent all day in the hallway holding buckets."

"Hmph."

They exited the dojo and walked the path to the house. They had almost arrived when Akane spoke again, though now she sounded hesitant.

"Ranma, have you really…as a girl…?"

"Akane?" he cut her off.

"Yeah?"

"Can we never talk about that again?"

She nodded meekly, and the two of them entered their home after a _very_ long day.

----------

Cripes. Well that took about fifteen times longer than I meant it to. Several re-writes coupled with severe laziness is to blame for the seemingly infinite delay on this chapter. One wonders whether anyone out there will even read this anymore.

Anyway, there is a lot less comedy in this chapter than I had originally planned. This is due to many things, but one of the main things is that it was hard to prevent Ranma from giving away things I didn't want him to give away yet. Also, some of the humor seemed repetitive to me, which in my opinion diminishes its potency. These are the reasons for the many re-writes I mentioned above. Hopefully the next part won't take nearly as long. I don't think it will, as I've procured for myself a laptop, which does nothing but word processing. It is without the constantly present temptations of games and the internet that I am able to get any work done at all. Indeed, it is why I was able to churn out this final version of chapter three in only two days after working on it in bits and pieces all along, and not working on it at all for over three months.

Lastly, thanks to my prereader, SJR, for making sure everything makes sense. He always does it right away too, so I never have to wait like the rest of you guys.

Happy holidays, everybody.


End file.
